New Boat Smell

New Boat Smell is something you never want to scrub off your being. If it permeates deep into epidermal layers...that's a good thing! You may have the urge to strip your clothes off and roll around in the bottom of the boat just like a dog frolicking in after birth of a cow, then eating it throwing it up and eating it again. That paints a picture, does it not?

Chef Boy has a new Ro Deville that he acquired at the MRF Auction, and believed he was helping out a worthy cause, and getting a great boat...2 birds, 1 stone. This is somewhat true, but there are dark sides to boat ownership. Let me lead with the positives, and then fade to reality.

New Boat Smell far exceeds new car smell. If they sold a New Boat Smell air freshener, like the new car smell air freshener, would you buy it? I'd go buy a case. Boats seem to hold a spot near our hearts far longer than a new vehicle. The thing is, there really is no smell to a new boat. What it really is, is an absence of smell. The stench accrues as your boat ages. Dead Whitey's, dead ducks and geese, dog smell, your last girlfriend, etc.

What new drift boats possess is a lack of injury. There are no chine dings, chaffed anchor ropes, bent oar locks, or ghosts of your brother-in-law and his awful casting stroke. The trailer lights are still working, albeit temporarily. The winch strap is straight, the bunks have clean, black carpet, and the tires have good tread. This is the honeymoon phase of drift boat ownership. It will pass, trust me.

It is a warm and fuzzy feeling...until you realize that you have relinquished the bow of the boat forever. You now are embedded in the middle seat. Why is the row seat never as comfortable as the fore or aft seats? The number of fishing pals will increase. They all say they can row...they also say their sister is rich and attractive. We know the answer that. The smartest thing and only defense you can do is require them to buy all the beer and flies. Are you aware that your personal fly boxes will diminish? Don't bring your entire arsenal of flies on the boat. This rule is known locally as the Kevin D rule. In fact, keep anything you value in the safe confines of your house. Your buddies will wreck and destroy all of your shit!

The positive attributes to new boat ownership are fading fast. Enjoy it while you can. It is a fantastic feeling. Ride that high as long as possible. Enjoy the New Boat Smell...it is a fleeting moment.