Dirty Snowy Party Bitch!

No pics today...and I have a few beauties!!! A dirty snowy little bitch here. 2ft at SOL's house, and Scumliners house too: with 3 1/2 drifts. Scumliner's house enveloped my truck, his too, and J the B's as well...late last night. Quickly ran out of alcohol and enjoyed a short winter's nap.

This AM, ScumL. contracted B 2 the B to pull us out. Success was had 0nly due to Chevy's prowess, yet again.

I got the best vehicle on Earth (CHEVY SUBURBAN) stuck for many, many, many, hours. 5500 lbs. of pain. But B $ E pulled us both out. Chevrolet products to the rescue again...no surprise. He drives a 2005 Chev V6 1500 Short Bed P/U..it's got more balls than a Celtic's locker room.

Ben, Carp Boy, Martineau, Jessie, and a cast of thousands sipping a few cocktails...or a bunch. B $ E has eloquently stated that American MUSCLE beats up on Japenesee Magic ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!*

So the debauchery continues...or the damn snow expires...till we meet again

In or Out?

One of the oddest happenings in my boat, and there have been lots of them, in the last ten years has to do with urination. Not a real pleasant topic, but it is one of those events that is better if you weren't there.

The client in front of the boat asks "Would you like me to pee in or out of the boat?" I replied, "Oh, inside is fine if you are comfortable with that." It is pretty common for men to just lean over and let 'er fly, or dribble, if you will...I have actually seen women do it too...off the back of the boat, the hardcore gals that is.

Some folks are more comfortable going to shore and wandering a distance from the boat and taking care of business is somewhat of a private environ. Those who possess the "Stage Fright Trait", commonly exhibited in stadiums with 37 dudes shoulder to shoulder, prefer this method.

The most common method is to rest your knees on the gunwale and hang your junk over the side of the vessel. Some drips may come in contact with the inside of the boat, but generally a negligible amount. They always say that urine is sterile, so no big deal if this happens.

I was rooting around in the icebox for a Coke for myself and the guest in the back of the boat...when I turned toward the front of the boat, I see the front of the boat fellow anchored in the knee locks and facing forward. His waders are below his waist and the unmistakable sound of pee reverberating off fiberglass. I turned to the guest in back and ask,"Is he peeing in the boat?!?%#!" He replied "Yes, I believe so." My next confused/exasperated comment was predictably, "Are you expletive pissing in my boat!!??"

Those of you who have fished in a late model Clackacraft may have recognized that there is a small drain hole at the base of the bow plate, allowing rain water to drain out. It's for H2O moisture removal only, not the alternative.

Client in the back states, "Of course he is, he does stupid shit like that all the time. I've known him for 25 years, and it doesn't surprise me a bit." Client in front says, "Well there is a drain hole up here for just this purpose, those folks at Clacka have thought of everything. You said it was OK. I asked you In or Out? You said In right?" In a quite rare moment of speechlessness I conjured a response. "I said it was OK to pee standing inside the boat, with the intention of the liquid toxins leaving the boat towards the water. Not to pee inside the boat proper!!

So, that is one of the strangest events to occur in my boat since my uneventful birth as a guide. Pretty damn odd don't ya think.

Capt. Carp Dead Song of the Day: Althea

Strange Guide Behavior of the Day: Finding an overpriced set of oar blades that don't drip too loud, drip patterns are important when you spend 100+ days in the middle seat. Any extraneous noises drive me up a tree...really.

Sol Sungard

Sol Sungard products are arguably the finest sunscreen products on the market. The best thing about this sunscreen is that when it does come in contact with your eyes...they do not water. It is totally safe for ramming into your eyes. If you don't believe me, next time you are in the shop, I will dump some into my own eyes.

I often have clients on the river that have been afflicted by the ol' sunscreen in the eyes syndrome. It does suck. My theory is if you do not want sunscreen in your eyes, don't put it into your eyes. It is kind of an intelligence test...you decide if you will pass or not. If you have a hat on, you do not need to protect your forehead. Think about it.

Sol's Bluewater ultra low chemical-active formula uses Z-Cote, a powerful, microfine zinc oxide that offers transparent and total protection against both UVA and UVB rays. Its unique fragrance-free, emulsion-loc technology means the sunscreen stays on your skin and out of your eyes..but it does not matter!! Skin protecting emollients protect your skin from drying, chapping and irritation. Get some sun, but first get some Sol. Extra gentle, formulated for water sports.

It truly is a dynamite product. The lip balms are super as well. Easy to get on and protects all day. A couple of different flavors, my new fav is Citrus. It rules!

For more info about Sol Sungard Products, visit the Website.

Fly of the Week: Fire Bead Soft Hackle Ray Charles

Capt. Carp Dead Song of the Day: Terrapin Station

Quirky Guide Behavior of the Week: A guide we know, if the fly is not working, even if it is a size 18 PT, he will clip the fly off, break off the hook, and chuck it into the water. That's Quirky.

Feral Cats and Rogue Guides...

Feral cats and Rogue guides are sewn of the same fabric. It is your duty as a free blooded American to do the right thing, and that is to eradicate the problem. You are either part of the problem or part of the solution. The common method for getting rid of the cats is via some sort of shotgun, gunny sack in the river, or any method you desire.

The rogue guides and outfitters is another situation all together. For those of you who do not know what I am speaking about...illegal and uninsured guides are the bane of or business. DO NOT TRUST OR ASSOCIATE WITH THIS CREATURE!! It is highly illegal and those who perform services without licenses, insurance, or any regard to your safety. These individuals are not welcome and should be hung. If you ever see this behavior from a so called guide, phone 1-800-TIP-MONT immediately. It is very difficult to catch and prosecute said guide, but I will not stop trying to help in wiping these fellas off of the face of the earth. Always check for Montana Board of Outfitters licensing information, liability insurance, and Independant Contractor status. It really angers me that these fellas are out there and acting as guides and outfitters. It is your duty to make sure you are fishing with a licensed outfit. Buyer beware!

Tar and feather them! Feral Cats and Rogue Guides must be removed at all costs!

Squeeky wins the Baetis Pool. $25 richer...BWO's at the Craig boat ramp today @ 2:45 MST

Quirky fisherman behavior of the day: Pushups on the center line in downtown Craig. Wow? Have never seen this previously, and now two in two weeks.

Capt. Carps Dead song of the day: Eyes of the World

Baetis Pool?

Headhunters, as of yesterday, has started the Baetis Pool. When will they arrive? I know gambling is not allowed in the office, but who's looking anyway. It is a $5 buy-in, winner takes all.

If you look at the pic on the right, you will see what we have been seeing...a whole lot of NOTHING...save for the midges, which the fish have not been too excited about. An occasional splashy juvenile rise...just like teenagers...making a whole series of inappropriate bad decisions...over and over and over!

It is the 20th of April and still no BWO's. It's OK, but would be great to throw a couple dries at sipping fishy's. The god news of the week is the nymphing has turned around and we are catching some fish...they are in more places than the winter soft edge buckets. Hooray!

Get your fishing pals, your co-workers, your family and start your own BWO Pool. Make it interesting and each toss a C note into the mix. Now that the NCAA March Madness is over, most of us need to find a new gambling fix. This is it.

Get down on your knees and pray to the Baetis god's. Sacrifice your old glass rods, the expired monofiliment that you haven't passed on to the buddies you don't like, that stinky whitefish on your trunk, and shotgun a Budweiser.

It's coming, it's coming, the Baetis are coming...hide some gear in the truck...and tell your wife you are going out for milk...

My 1st Missouri River Love

My first couple years on the Missouri were certainly a learning experience. I did not have enough knowledge or wisdom to fill up a fly cup. I did not know what a mayfly was. I did see pictures and heard tales of east coasters that had wonderful and varied mayfly hatches...Catskill patterns, Beaverkill flies, etc. It wasn't until a couple local guides befriended me and clued me in on what flies and where to fish, what kind of water to look at, the many mind blowing stages of mayflies and so on. My personal naievity did not stop at just the fishing...it included such things as the subconscious attraction to tail waters, small fishing villages, gals with fly rods in the hands casting in the front of drift boats, fun filled evenings and mornings with fuzzy heads. The true reason for this entry has nothing to do with mayflies, but it has a lot to do with my first love on the Missouri. Her name is Heather Filipowicz; a dreamy blond with an infectious laugh.

If you have spent any time on the river in the last 20 years you have invariably bumped into one of the sisters. There are four, I know three...1 blond, 1 brunette, and one red. Dreams are made from a scenario like this. You cannot make this shit up. It's true. Unfortunately for the fella's in town, they all have moved to greener pastures. They have all worked for local restaurants, fly shops, and in any other fishing town businesses while attending Montana Universities. Super neat gals, well adjusted, very funny, who all liked to laugh. These are the type of girls that encouraged skinny dippin' at the lake...and any boy who was within earshot raced to the locale to participate.

I was working at the Dearborn Inn as a cook and my first Missouri love was a waitress. I immediately fell in love. As many of you know, trout bums exhibit this behavior on a daily basis. She certainly did not have the same attraction. What a surprise. A dead end dude flipping burgers at a roadhouse, X's in his eyes, and fantasizing about freely rising trout. What's not to like. Heather and I worked at another cafe together after the eminent demise of the Dearborn...and consequent burnings which the fire Marshall described as fire's with unknown origin. I'll let you figure out that riddle and come to the inevitable conclusion. The doomed business is still not open...not because folks have not tried. It is an outstanding piece of land. Big ideas and pipe dreams. I believe there is lots of bad Ju-Ju associated with the property. There has to be. It was a camp site for the Corps of Discovery July 17th 1805. L & C named Eagle Rock from this very site...maybe some bad shit went down that fateful evening? Who knows. If you know me at all, you understand I cannot tell a short story, just ask my close friends. As I digress...

The way I remember it, it must have been a couple years after our first meeting, and we had become friends...I expressed to Heather that she was my first love on the Missouri. She smirked, tried to suppress her laughter, couldn't. She stated that she was not my first love on the Missouri. I vehemently disagreed. I explained that she was definitely my first attraction here in the canyon. She said to me, now straight faced and brutally honest, "The river was your first love, not me." Well, sometimes the truth hurts. In this case I appreciated the insight that many females have. They know man, even when we believe we have it all figured out. She was spot on.
I saw Heather this morning. It was great to see her. She is a Nutritionist in Salt Lake and succeeding/exceeding in her profession. As are all the Filipichicks. We chatted about this very moment in life. Again she laughed and I joined in the hilarity too.

My first love was the Missouri, the river itself. It still is. She was right all along.

No more Mr. Nice Guy!!

Had 6+ Budweiser's and let my soft side out on the Blog...give me too much down time and look what happens. I need to get more time on the river, less time staring at this confuser. That all begins again tomorrow...good bye feel good SOL, hello taskmaster.

On the right is yet another fish taken on a Hickman's Skiddish Smolt. Circus-Kirpatricka and Jerry from Columbia Falls, both former guides here on the MO, were here last weekend and fished hard. Mostly streamer chuckin' with some boobber time mixed in...they had success both ways. Those guys will throw the big bug all day...and force some results. Guaranteed these are not poetry writers, or readers! Hard fishing and hard drinking fellas from the north.

When the fly flicking gets tough, you just have to put on your big boy pants, go out packin' heat, and knuckle down. As Tom Hanks said in League of their Own, there is no crying in baseball...same deal in fishing...no freakin crying, sobbing, pouting is certainly the worst! It's the deep breathing sighing and pouting that some fellas do when, god forbid they have not hooked a fish in 8 minutes. If this describes you, I suggest not fishing this week. The fisherman that are currently around do not possess a soft bone in their body. Just get in the boat, shut up, and cast. Cast again, cast again, then cast again.

No more Mr. Nice Guy, Ms. Nice Girl, none of that shit...it does not promote fish catching behaviors.

Quirky Fisherman Behavior of the Day:Not taking the plastic off of the cork from your new fly rod??!! Speaks truth about certain bizarre tendencies.

Capt. Carp's Fav. Dead Song of the Day: Space Jam from Red Rocks 7/7/77

Simple Pleasures...

The best things in life embody simplicity.

Manage expectations and find gratification in the lowest common denominator.

Go outside, sit on the porch, and dream...

Let go, and all the worries that are attached like plaque to your soul diminish.

Concerns should drift downstream...farther and farther...until out of sight...

Turn towards the sun, and the shadows fall behind you...

Gotta Love 'Em!

Long live the fly fishing girl. Chicks Rule! There really is nothing better than a gal holding a nice trout. They make the trout look waaay better. On the right is Molly from Belgrade fishing with SOL a couple years ago. The bottom line is that girls get it.

The gals that do fish are just like the gals that ski or snowboard. When they are good, they are much better than most men. I know this may be hard to swallow from a male standpoint, but what I speak is TRUTH. Many women qualify as level 6 fishermen, they truly enjoy the entire day, catching fish along the way.

I know I speak for the majority of guides when I say that I would rather have two gals in the boat than the alternative. Guiding men allows me to make my Suburban payment every month, and I appreciate that. The industry number for the percentage of female fly rodders is 4%. Boy, I'd like to see that number increase. And it is. The new generation of fly fishers includes 90% of that 4% figure. We see more and more women and it is refreshing. They don't seem to get mired in the dry fly funk and pretentiousness that some men do. They also have an incredible ability to learn. What a positive attribute. We, as men, can certainly learn from this.

A short story: This is the stereotypical day with a husband and wife. Disclaimer: This is not an absolute, many husband wife teams do not exhibit this behavior...but it does happen. The man pulls you aside in the morning and mentions that this trip is for his wife, that he already knows how to fish, and he will sit in the back of the boat. "You just pay attention to my wife and get her some fish. I'll keep my mouth closed and catch fish in the back." Here's what follows. The gal listens intently to every word I have to say, learns rapidly and starts hooking a few fish. About the 4th or 5th fish landed the husband says, "Honey, great fish, maybe I should sit in the front and get a couple." She says OK and the switch is made. The male, who generally can cast a country mile, whacks casts out 40+ feet and consequently cannot get a drift. The fish don't care if you can cast, they just care if you can drift! The wife has her bobber just off the oar and is attaining perfect drifts. She continues to hook trout and the smoke begins to waft out of the husbands ears. "Do I have the same flies on as my wife?" Yes, you have identical rigs sir. "Are you sure, let me see her flies." OK sir, as you see, same rig. "Why is she catching fish and I'm not?" Well sir, she is getting great drifts. The tension continues to build and the wife, to dissolve any long term rifts between the two, stops fishing. Smart lady.

The upshot is...women fly fishers kick ass! For a cool female blog perspective, check out Christine Johnson's Blog...Flyfishchick.com You will enjoy it.

Quirky fishermen behavior of the day: Saw a guy doing push-ups at the boat ramp, pre-fishing ritual. That's odd.

Capt. Carp's Favorite Grateful Dead of the Day: Uncle John's Band

Fly of the Week: Hickman's Skiddish Smolt

Peeps...not just for Easter anymore!

I have finally thought of the perfect use for that package of Peeps that you have had in the pantry for well over a decade. Ball them up, about the size of your favorite bobber, then hunt up a rattle can of lacquer, and hose them down with liberal amounts of deadly spray. Next time you are short an indicator, simple pop on a Peeps bobber and fish on!

As you know, they come in several colors for differing light conditions. I like to get out the Sharpie and color them black. Like if you are BWO Peeps bobber fishin' in the fall and when the glare is so bad.

Yet another use is as an actual lure. Tie the Peep in as you would a tube fly or attach a blade for spinner like action. I have also tied the prop deal in front and had good luck during a Pike bite. Lunker Browns can rise to the Peep itself, and then the rodeo is on. Hold on to him for 8 seconds donning your pink, pearl buttoned, paisley embossed button down and consider it a victory. Twitch it near bank lines with a stinger hook hanging out the ass end for top water teeth rattlin' strikes. I have found that when Bass fishing the Peep, prep the chicklet with either a garlic or salt frog brine. Deadly.

My suggestion for the initial start up package is to steal your nephews carton when he is pogo sticking around the kitchen all hopped up on a killer sugar buzz...reminding you why you convinced the doctor to perform a vasectomy when you were only 23. Also, look for super deals on Peeps during the post Easter liquidation candy sale. Stock up for the year and don't forget about your fishing partners needs too.

B and E Ben

Break-in-Ben is back from the long winter in Massachusetts. His first duty on the Mo was to break into Doc White's Bronco. It took him about 30 seconds, 1 piece of scrap pine, and 1 coat hanger...Nice Ben. Wonder what he does in the off-season? He does actually have a job outside of the fishing industry, and no it's not working for the Miss America Pageant as he tells anybody who will listen. BIB plowed snow for some reprobate in Mass, and pounded nails for some other derelict, and then managed make his way west for another Missouri River summer. He truly is multi-talented and we are fortunate to have him back. How smart do you think he would be if he did not come back to the Mo?

Now that Ben is back in Craig he will be working in the store for the time being, helping out with the long lists of BS jobs that Scumliner, J the B, and Squeeky have designed for him. After he accomplishes that feat, he will be guiding again for Headhunters and knockin' 'em dead in his sophomore effort. Young and eager guides like Ben are damn hard to beat. They accrue knowledge at an amazing rate and work harder than most Wal-Mart greeters.

We welcome Ben back and will be enjoying his humor, his many faceted skills, and his growing list of repeat clients.

George Harvey Slackline Leader

I've been using the Harvey Slackline for going on 15 years and still love it. Are there better leaders for dry fly fishing? Maybe...it is all conjecture and personal opinion. The beauty of a Slackline is that it turns over, and leaves the last 25% of leader, the tippet, slack so you can achieve the proper drift for the sometimes difficult fish that inhabit the Missouri.

It starts with Maxima Chameleon which allows for a good turnover of the leader, and depending on which mono materials you prefer can continue with Max until the tippet portion. All the old schoolers like Max, still popular with the steelhead gang too, and especially if you are from the East Coast. Another benefit of hand tied leaders is that you can truly design a leader to do exactly what you want. Sometimes store bought machine tapered leaders will "kick" in a direction that you do not desire. I'm sure you have encountered this. If you are casting downstream at a giant rising brown...and as the leader unfolds, the fly "kicks" upstream. That is enough to drive a guy to drink! You may only have one shot at a fish like that. So, you really need a leader that does the right thing in this situation. That is where a hand built leader like the Harvey is clutch. I always tie these with Blood Knots, mainly because it is nice looking, I don't believe in the Surgeon's Knot...but that is neither here nor there.

Here is the Harvey Slackline All Around 10' Formula:
I start with a larger diameter butt section Chameleon Max .022"-.024" with a loop to loop, or not. Then tie on:
10" .017 Maxima Chameleon
20" .015 Maxima Chameleon
20" .013 Maxima Chameleon
20" .011 (0X) Maxima Clear
12" .009 (2X) Rio Flouroflex Plus
10" .007 (4X) Rio Flouroflex Plus
28" .006 (5X) Rio Suppleflex Mono

This leader starts with stiff Max Mono/brown, tapers to Max Mono/Clear, Flourocarbon, and finally to soft/limp mono. A damn good dry fly leader. I generally cast down and across to rising fish, and this works well for myself and my clients. It unfolds straight, and drops to the water with slack built in. Most guides have their own dry fly leader formula, and there is commonly arguments about leader design on the porch at night...this is just my favorite.

There are a ton of leader designs that are effective. Check out the Leader Formula Bonanza http://www.flyfisherman.com/skills/50formulas.pdf

Grand Opening 2009

Grand Opening 2009 is today April 3rd. Scumliner, Squeeky, and J the Brain have got things put back together just in time for the Spring. We really like the look of the updated store and are anticipating a Kick-Ass year. Bookings are strong and the excitement never stops.

Izaak's is also opening tonight with an updated menu...still your favorites, but also some new dishes to keep you coming back night after night.

Headhunters has the same great service oriented staff as last year with a couple new faces too. Ben Hardy will be here very soon, Andrew Martineau will arrive mid month. Sarah Roholt will be new to us this year and we can't wait to have an additional gal in the shop. Julie is still here making it all work, without her John and I would be completely and totally lost. She is the glue that holds the shop together. Of course John and I are still here and are in the shop every waking moment that we are not guiding. Having shop owners that fish/guide 5 days a week allows Headhunters to stay on top of current fishing events, hot flies, and the behaviors of the Missouri. She can be a temperamental bitch! I think we all can agree on that statement.

Spring hours are 8am to 6pm...but as you know we are generally here much later than the posted closing time. Feel free to give us a call for up-to-the-minute fishing reports...and for immediate news on the Baetis that have not shown...they will. The fella's tossing streamers are still doing quite well and landing some lunkers.

Holter Lake is open and the guys and gals fishing at the boat ramp are having real good success. Purple Prince's behind a bobber are doing the trick. Get on up there if you like to whack false spawners on the head and eat 'em. Just try not to get too greedy...you know it is not a positive virtue, and one of the 7 deadly sins.

Look forward to seeing the happy faces come through the door at Headhunters with coffee cup in hand...and always...Hippies use the Backdoor!