The Straight Nymph Leader

For many nymph fishermen, straight leaders provide an efficient, accurate and economical leader system. Straight (non-tapered) leaders are not new nor are they a secret. There have been many articles describing their use and advantages over the last 10 years. Scumliner himself swears by straight nymphing leaders, and if you have fished with him, you have seen him casually clip off your brand new $4 tapered leader and replace it with one of his custom built Bimini nymph leaders (you have no choice). Let go into some of the why's and how's of the straight leader system.

Advantages:
The straight leader system offers several advantages, but the primary one is that you can achieve quick, accurate and maximum depth. Tapered leaders prevent a straight, 90 degree drop from your indicator (or fly line tip for you Czech Nympher's). This is due to the heavy "butt" section built into the leader, which causes far more drag than a straight system. The amount of drag will vary depending on the the length, weight and type of leader you use. Regardless, your leader will arc to some degree, unless you are using a massive amount of weight at the terminal end.

You can also use less weight to achieve the same depth more quickly. Because drag is significantly reduced, your flies reach their max depth almost immediately. I've always preferred to use less weight and a slightly longer leader if possible. It makes casting easier, and I feel my drift is more natural, and takes are more easily detected.

Straight leaders are much easier to lengthen or shorten if needed. Many anglers choose to move their indicator instead of lengthening the leader. When I decide to change length, however, I usually make a dramatic change. On the Missouri, we're fishing big water with a great variety of depth. If I'm not getting fish at 4 feet, I don't go to 5...I go to 7. Because my leader is uniform, it's easy to add or remove a couple of feet. I don't have to worry about drastic changes in tippet/leader diameter; it's a constant.

Disadvantages:
Casting with a straight leader, while not as difficult as some would have you believe, can be a bit clumsy. Ease of casting is dictated almost entirely by the weight at the terminal end; the more the better. If you have 2 BB's and a tungsten Beadhead fly, you won't have any trouble. On the other hand, unweighted or lightly weighted rigs can be very difficult to cast on a straight system. All of the energy in your line is lost the second it reaches your non-tapered leader.

On the Missouri we do a lot of shallow nymphing, usually involving rigs with small beadhead nymphs, no weight and a very small indicator placed 2 - 4 feet above the top fly. The fly is fished only an inch or two under the surface. I like to use a 9 foot leader for this, as the fish are usually sensitive to lines and mending. Trying to cast a 9 foot straight leader with no weight is tough enough. When you add the small, but still wind resistant, indicator on the end, and it's nearly impossible for many anglers.

Aside from casting, the only other disadvantage of a straight leader is the weak point created by connecting a 20-30lb. butt section to 2X-4X leader material. There are many knots used to do this, including a perfection loop to loop, albright, a scary looking triple surgeons, and a clinch to a loop connection. I've tried them all and always had the occasional (or not so accasional) break at the knot, resulting in not only lost flies, but the entire leader. I have come up with a solution, which is described below.

By the way, never attach a knot secured indicator to a straight leader, always attach it to the butt section. Stick-on Palsa type indicators can of course be used anywhere on the leader.

Building Straight Leaders:
For years I've been building straight nymphing leaders...I had to, you couldn't buy them. Fortunately, RIO has just come out with a straight nymph "indicator" leader. So far, I've been very happy with these, and they will probably replace my own version at some point soon.

For those interested in my own system, here it is:

This is a three part leader and uses loop-to-loop systems. The butt section consists of 30lb. hi-vis mono. It is 1 foot long with perfection loops at each end. Most anglers have a butt section on the end of their line, but I like to add this so that if I'm tying an indicator on the leader, I don't 'kink' my butt section...the kink remains in the nymph butt section.

For the leader itself, I use 10 lb followed by 8 lb mono or flourocarbon, usually something from the tackle section at the sporting goods store (I like Yozuri Hybrid). Start with 6 feet of 10 pound. In one end, tie a short (1 foot) bimini twist loop. I then hold the knot in my left hand, and stick my finger in the loop. twist the loop until it is always almost tight around your finger. Holding it tight, grab the twisted loop in the center with your mouth and pull towards you. Let your fingers come together. The Loop will twist up on itself. I then tie a simple surgeons knot in the twisted section, right above the bimini knot. Trim the tag of the surgeons loop.

You should end up with a 6 inch twisted loop, followed by your bimini twist, followed by about 4 feet of 10 lb. This creates a very strong, doubled loop at the end. The twisted loop creates a "shock absorber" effect as well. I have never had this knot fail, nor have I experienced a break at the loop to loop connection.

To finish your leader, loop the butt section to the twisted loop. Make your 10 lb section (including bimini loop) about 3 feet (less if you plan on nymphing shallow). Add 6 or more feet of 8 lb to the 10 lb. Thats it. When you're ready to fish, cut the leader to the depth you want your first fly or weight at. Then add the appropriate amount and size of tippet...

Old Snowy River

Breathtaking morning in Craig...absolutely silent. It is truly nice in Montana when not a soul is creeping around. Yes, I love people, but the introvert in me does not mind droves of of folks around, reminiscent of summer.

The Missouri needs a rest from the fisherman. A chance for it to breathe and sequester the energy it must need to provide incredible fishing during the spring, summer, and fall.

The Golden Eyes are almost gone. Geese are returning from their winter south of here, and the Rainbows are looking for mates (so are starving fishing guides) The Browns are being caught and look really healthy. Fat and colorful!

We will be scraping the ice and snow from our drift boats and spending less time in the shop and more time on the river. Bring it on! Water temps are still relatively low for this time of year, near 38F, and the BWO's have not shown. It will happen...and then we can throw some dries and shake off the rust from our casting arms.

Scumliner, Capt. Carp, Squeeky Oar Lock, and the Brain are busy redesigning the interior of the store, stocking shelves with cool new Simms gear, and stuffing flies in our additional fly bins built by TroutNV.

Official opening of Headhunters is this coming Friday...Hooray, we are excited. Feel free to stop by and clink cold Budweiser's with us. Till then...

Rugby Shot?!

Saw a Rugby Shot at Joe's Bar the other night. It is actually a Tequila shot gone really bad!

1 shot of bottom shelf Tequila, 1 lime, & 1 line of salt. Yes, a line of salt.

Get a short straw from the bartender and snort the line of salt, toss back the shot, and squeeze the lime in your eye.

Ouch! Yet another confirmation that fly fishermen are smarter than rugby players.

From the Reel to the Fly

Over the next couple of weeks, we'll be posting some articles about leaders and materials, leader construction, and fly lines...the things that deliver your fly to the fish. Without them, fly rods would be called spinning rods. Improperly built leaders can defeat all attempts to make a good cast and presentation. Fly lines that are worn out, not balanced for your rod, or are the wrong taper for the situation make casting and mending a chore. Using cheap, rotten or the wrong size tippet can be the difference between hooking and actually catching a trout.

These are all issues that we see, both in the shop and on the river, all too often during the season. Hopefully we can teach you a thing or two, and remind you how important your line and terminal tackle is to your success.

Squeeky and Scumliner will be sharing their knowledge and opinions, so stay tuned. There should be some humor involved as well...

I still want one...

I still want the 1985 Subaru US Ski Team 1800 GL Wagon. Saw this one in Sheridan Wyoming and had the same feeling I did as a teenager.

Subaru started producing the Ski Team model in 1978 when Sub's were still roundish...but this was by far the coolest one. As you can see this particular version is of the Nordic Skiing type, but still drooled over it.

Wax up those K2 VO SL's, grab your orange Lange XLR's, Scott World Cup poles...donning a Demetre padded sweater, Roffe Stretch pants with the powder gaiters, Bolle goggles or ISki red/white/blue sunglasses, and meet me at the corner at 6am.

Oh boy...I would have given my left n_t for one of these baby's in the 1980's

Long Live the Burbot!

I have never been Burbot fishing...but I've been fantasizing about it for nearly 2 decades. Every night since I've been back in Montana I pass 1 if not 2 Ling fishermen on my way home at night. It is intriguing; the methods, the science, the art, the recipes, the legends, and the fish itself.

Burbot, Lota lota, and the less common Lota maclosa, are native to Montana waters and adored by all that fish for them. Sometimes called poor mans lobster, you may overhear old timers speak of them during waning hours at your local watering hole. Here in Craig, it's at Joe's Bar...where everybody is kin.

Nicknames for Burbot include...

Ling
Mudblow
Lawyer Fish
Freshwater Cod
Lush
Loche
Eelpout
Poorman's Lobster
Cusk

The world record for Burbot is 24# 12oz. The Montana record is 17.08# and measured 39" caught on the Missouri near Wolf Point 4/18/89 by Jeff Iwen. It is a native fish and there is some concern about the health of the population. The Kootenai River population has dwindled to about 60 fish. The dams have wreaked havoc in the spawning rituals and habitat. There are plenty, according to FWP here on the blue ribbon stretch near Craig, and are currently trapping Burbot for research reasons. I will try to get an update and pass the news on to you folks.

The best time to fish for Ling is right now. They love cold, deep water, darkness, and dead bait. Spawning time is late February for about 6 weeks. I guess this is the time to get 'em. They are primarily nocturnal feeders and their diet includes bait fish, crustaceans, aquatic insects, plankton, and fish eggs. As they mature to spawning age their feeding preference becomes bait fish.

I have gleaned all of my Burbot technique information from drunken conversations @ both Joe's and Oosterman's in Prewett Creek. Here is my understanding on how to approach the elusive Burbot.

Start with a vicious buzz. Get to the bar early in the afternoon, or at the crack of noon, and proceed to buy rounds for yourself and any fishing guide within ear shot. Drink until midnight and make your plan while offending everyone in the tavern. Get a couple cases of PBR to go, cash out, or try to convince the bar keep to extend your tab til next week. Take a cab to the nearest wood pile, pilfer approx. 1/4 cord, toss it in the trunk of the cab while giggling like a little girl. Pop a freshy, offer one to the cabby, and cruise to the Ling hole. Stumble out of the taxi, unload fire wood and spin gear on beach and build a kick-ass fire. The fire is essential for not only heat, but to draw the fish in.

Next on the list is to catch a sucker. The definition of a sucker is any non game fish...like a whitefish, true sucker, or anything that inhales the nightcrawler. Chop up the sucker into chunks...I guess the dark meat is the best for Burbot bait...the cheek meat is supposed to be just killer. Rig your Ling Pole with a heavy weight, 1/2 ounce is good, swivel and 18"-24" of flourocarbon tippet to the hook. Toss out in the water, set in pole holder, pop another cold one, and throw 4 or 5 more pieces of wood on the fire.

Now bait and wait, on the edge of your $4.99 lawn chair. The takes can be very subtle. Most pros open the bail and if the fish takes a 1/4 turn of line off the spool, gently lift rod out of holder, wait for another nudge, and set the hook like your trying to break your pole. Then just reel in. They don't fight much...but be prepared to whack on the head as you remove from the water. Toss up on the shore and re-bait your line and repeat.

That is how you get 'em. They are good baked with a little butter, salt & pepper, wrapped in tinfoil on the BBQ/or slathered in mayonnaise. It's good fried too. I like to fry it with a combo of regular fry batter and pancake batter. It gives a nice touch of sweetness. But the ultimate Ling meal is Burbot Cakes. Try the recipe below and enjoy the best meal you've had in weeks.

Burbot Cakes

1# Fresh Burbot
1/4 C chopped red pepper
1/4 C chopped green pepper
1 stalk celery
2 large shallot
2 1/2 oz Grey Poupon
4 oz mayonnaise
1/2 C bread crumbs
1/2 T Old Bay Seasoning

Saute vegetables until translucent. Cool. Add all ingredients to a bowl and softly combine. Heat grill to medium high and cook until golden brown, flip, and serve.

A light mayo-mustard sauce is nice whipped with white wine and served with toast points makes a nice presentation.

Officially Spring/Vernal Equinox

It is officially spring. We love it at Headhunters Fly Shop. Soon the hillsides will be kelley green along with the days are getting longer. Bring on spring and let us move towards summer. Trout fishing on the Missouri is good now and will get better every day from here on out.

Spring always leads me down the road of summer love...or a permutation there of...which traditionally lasts through the summer...and then the smart ones, meaning all of them, get rid of me about the time of the Autumnal Equinox. Fishing guides are sketchy at best, but it usually takes about 3-4 months for the shine to wear off.

So get outside, prance around in your tie-dyed sundress and throw flowers at the sky. If you aren't into that gig, seek out a poor, indignant fly fishing guide and make some spring gestures. At least buy him a cocktail.


Bring on the spring rains, blossoming of wildflowers, spawning rainbows, and longer fishing days.

New Boat Smell

New Boat Smell is something you never want to scrub off your being. If it permeates deep into epidermal layers...that's a good thing! You may have the urge to strip your clothes off and roll around in the bottom of the boat just like a dog frolicking in after birth of a cow, then eating it throwing it up and eating it again. That paints a picture, does it not?

Chef Boy has a new Ro Deville that he acquired at the MRF Auction, and believed he was helping out a worthy cause, and getting a great boat...2 birds, 1 stone. This is somewhat true, but there are dark sides to boat ownership. Let me lead with the positives, and then fade to reality.

New Boat Smell far exceeds new car smell. If they sold a New Boat Smell air freshener, like the new car smell air freshener, would you buy it? I'd go buy a case. Boats seem to hold a spot near our hearts far longer than a new vehicle. The thing is, there really is no smell to a new boat. What it really is, is an absence of smell. The stench accrues as your boat ages. Dead Whitey's, dead ducks and geese, dog smell, your last girlfriend, etc.

What new drift boats possess is a lack of injury. There are no chine dings, chaffed anchor ropes, bent oar locks, or ghosts of your brother-in-law and his awful casting stroke. The trailer lights are still working, albeit temporarily. The winch strap is straight, the bunks have clean, black carpet, and the tires have good tread. This is the honeymoon phase of drift boat ownership. It will pass, trust me.

It is a warm and fuzzy feeling...until you realize that you have relinquished the bow of the boat forever. You now are embedded in the middle seat. Why is the row seat never as comfortable as the fore or aft seats? The number of fishing pals will increase. They all say they can row...they also say their sister is rich and attractive. We know the answer that. The smartest thing and only defense you can do is require them to buy all the beer and flies. Are you aware that your personal fly boxes will diminish? Don't bring your entire arsenal of flies on the boat. This rule is known locally as the Kevin D rule. In fact, keep anything you value in the safe confines of your house. Your buddies will wreck and destroy all of your shit!

The positive attributes to new boat ownership are fading fast. Enjoy it while you can. It is a fantastic feeling. Ride that high as long as possible. Enjoy the New Boat Smell...it is a fleeting moment.

If...a common fishing word

If...the most common fishing word. It can be uttered at any moment during the day, or even wake you in the middle of the night. If can haunt you at work, or even rear it's ugly head many years down the line...just like your girlfriend reminding that you screwed the dog and reiterates the mistakes you made way back in the Pleistocene Age. If is that strong a word!

We all qualify for this category of mistakes, the never ending list of If grows exponentially every fishing day that passes. Remember that lunker you lost opening day worm dunking at the put and take pond when you were six years old? The poor rainbow may have only gone a pound at best, but you still curse yourself for not untangling the rat's nest from last year. Believing that the tangle, reminiscent of the nappy dreadheaded youth that made your sandwich today at Subway, would not hinder your fishing ability. How far could one of those anemic pellet fed mealy creatures run anyway? Well, a little farther than you had anticipated. That's for damn sure. It may have been the first time you screamed an expletive in front of your uncle. But, it's cool, he's your uncle, not your mom. So, therefore you dodged the inevitable toothbrush and Irish Spring mouth cleansing. If only I would have...

If haunts us to this very moment. If you desire a full nights sleep, discontinue reading now. Can we even begin to count the number of times we have performed fishing acts that keep our fishing pals in stitches. Here are a few examples of the two letter word If...

• If I only would have been paying attention to my bobber.
• If I would have gotten out of bed and not missed the last Trico hatch of the year.
• If I would not have gambled my last $18 dollars in that Keno machine, I could chug another PBR.
• If I would have changed/cleaned my flyline I could actually reach that big brown.
• If I did not waste my winter watching Survivor with my wife, and practiced casting instead, I could actually reach that big brown.
• If I would have booked my fly fishing trip earlier, I would not have to listen to this out of area guide blame the poor fishing, while all the boats around you are doubled up, on the angle of sun, wrong water temperature, full moon last night, blah, blah, blah...
• If I would stop listening to my fishing partner, who has been fishing all of two hours longer than I, and start listening to my guide...who really is on my team. Note: You ever notice the first guy to boat a fish is immediately the expert? This is a phenomenon throughout the fishing world, and golf from my understanding.
• If October was 6 months long, as opposed to only a month, just think how many calm, overcast, a little moisture in the air, 45 degree Baetis days a guy could have?
• If I did not have a job, was a Lotto winner, I could fish any day I wanted. I'd hire guides for all of eternity. Sitting in the middle of the boat is for suckers.
• If I would not have left that new rod on the roof, it would not have been run over and I would not have to lie to my wife about the missing $650 in our checking account.
• If I would have bought that cool Simms Rain Jacket, I would not be so blasted wet.
• If I could just go fishing more...boy that's a nice thought...I could quit that lame Yoga class and let the subtle sounds of the river be my physiological leader.

Second guessing is probably a recipe for disaster...but don't deny the term If. Denial is a terrible emotion. If is a word that should lead us to a positive outcome. If we do not learn from our mistakes we become foolish. Put your self in successful situations and decrease the number of If that occur this year. It is quite funny to think about the long list of If in our lives. That's how you have to look at it, water under the bridge. If...it really is a common fishing word.

St. Patrick's Purge

March 17th is a celebration that whether or not you are Irish, most of us participate. I don't know how you like to pay tribute to St. Patrick, but for most it involves drinking a lot of green beer and gorging yourselves with corned beef and cabbage. I concur, that's what I'll be doing tonight.

Is there a fishing correlation to St. Pat's? St. Patrick is patron of fishermen in the Loire, where a legend associates him with a blackthorn bush. The saint is said to have slept beneath it, and when he awoke the next day, Christmas, the bush flowered, and was said to have continued to do so every Christmas until its destruction during the First World War. This accoriding to Fox News...you be the judge.

For the time being, Scumliner and I have finished the Crock Pot full of CB and cabbage, toasted the Irish with cold Budweiser's, and purged Headhunters of all snakes.

Happy day to all you lads and lasses, enjoy the evening and bow down, or raise a toast to St. Pat, the patron of fishing.

Rain and Snow Dances

Woke this morning to an outstanding spring day. Without being cliche, which is difficult for me, I adore spring. It's Mother Nature preparing for rebirth. Moving away from winter hibernation towards a warmer emergence. Just like insects, humans like sun penetration. It seems to pass right through our epidermal layers diving towards our inner core. Spring encourages smiles, renewed energies, the desire to wash your driftboat, fantasies of new girlfriends, thoughts of hot summer afternoons reflecting on the fishing day's successes/sorrows, and realistic questions of watershed levels.

The Missouri drainage is near 100% water equivalents. Is that enough? Not really. As you remember last year, and the high water bringing us the flush of 2008... will we see adequate water this year? Boy I hope so. If we can string two years of above average flows we will see a return of better dry fly fishing commensurate with phenomenal hatches. If we have a below average year will it hurt our chances? No, not really.

Here is my proposal to you folks. Let's promote global cooling. How about we exercise a communal Snow Dance. If you don't know how to perform a Snow Dance, try a Rain Dance.

Are there rule and regulations governing said dances. No. It is WFO. My suggestion is to begin this process by shotgunning a couple Budweiser's. It always helps me. Then break into your free-form dance. Is there a wrong way to dance? Yes, but the snow gods don't seem to differentiate between your Champagne riddled jives at your brother-in-laws wedding and your simple muses in your boxers hidden in the safe confines of your living room. Conduct these dances daily until our snow pack reaches 120%.

Task for today. Dance, jig, flail, jive, or stumble around with your head slightly tilted toward the skies and plead with Mother Nature to grace us with rain or snow. Task for tomorrow, same.

For those about to Rock...

We salute you. Any rocker will know who sang this infamous phrase...for those of you who don't...well, you have some livin' to do.

This is the song that our local butt rock station was playing as I came down the grade to the Wolf Creek Bridge yesterday afternoon. One of my favorite songs and a serendipitous moment for me. You know that feeling that reverberates through your inner being when you finally come home. Almost a tingling rush that is derived from pure bliss. Like the feeling you had when you saw your wife for the first time. Ya, that shit.

I'm back in my soulful home of Craig Montana and I could not be happier. Yes, Florida is nice, but to spend 12 months there would just kill me. I love Montana, and I love the Missouri. It tis a place dear to my heart.

My first full day back at Headhunters and there is a lot happening. New stuff, new computers, new clients, and the same old Craig. Hooray!

I like the smell of Craig, seeing friends that are forever friends, regardless of the small town politics that infect this micro-community...water issues, sewer districts, crazy locals, fly shop battles...the common thread is the trout. And boy do we have trout. It is the glue that binds us, for better or for worse.

The road trip is over and it was non-eventful. Thank the powers that be for that. 2996.7 miles of middle America, I'm sure glad I live here and have chosen to chase trout. It is a good place to be.

In light of the economic horrors that revolve around us, and the dwindling assets, one thing is static. Our love for fishing. You know, the fish do not give a rats ass about global economies! They only care if you can cast. They don't care about your 401K, they are looking forward to the spring Baetis.

I almost got distracted by doom and gloom. Thankfully my Budweiser is nearly gone, and I need to visit Joe's Bar and reverse the trend. Bushly, Devine, Heckert, Capt. Carp, John, and a pile of other folks will brighten my day along with a tumbler full of Crown Royal.

I look forward to seeing the non-local locals back in this not so sleepy town this season and a toast to you my friends...We Salute You!

Boy, it's good to be home. For those about to Rock...We Salute You!

Fishing Photography

I'm not a world class or professional photographer. I'm a fishing guide. So I don't claim expertise in picture taking but I WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE GOT TO GET AWAY FROM GRIP & GRIN PHOTOS.

We all love the hero shot, and I am guiltier than most, but how many more silly 16" rainbow shots do we need? Take the monster shot when that magic moment occurs and put it on your wallpaper or slide show on your desk. Reminding ourselves of the many highlights in fishing is certainly part of the fun. Think about making your next fishing excursion into a photo essay. That's what the pros do, push the button frequently and often!

Scenery Shots: Easy to take while drifting down the river, walking to your secret spot (only to find your former fishing pal walking out with a full stringer), or just wandering alongside the river in your fishing ride. Find situations that catch your eye; neat trees, landscapes, birds, mink, whitefish( sort of scenery?!) I suggest pushing the button as many times as you see anything/something interesting. I really believe that it takes me about 100 exposures to get the cool result. Remember, it digital. Won't cost you nothin'

Fishing Action Shots: I enjoy these as much or more than Grip & Grin. All the cool fun events that happen before and after the catch. Casting, fighting fish, laughing, your buddy pissing in the boat & the guides reaction, other boats floating by and the like. Every fishing portfolio needs plenty of Fly Fishing Action shots. They tell the story behind the big fish of the trip.

Point of View Photos: Try fooling around with different angles, cropping effects, shooting into infinite, unique and quirky perspectives, and staying away from the norm.

Explore your Photo Software: It really is fun to play with your fishing pics and tweak them with your software. This is a facet that I need to do more with but am learning slowly. Go to the extremes and discover how far you can take it.

On-Line Photo Albums: I hate to admit this because I once believed these were cheesy. They are damn cool. If not for yourself, for your grandmother in Vero Beach. Click on the link and see how many different options are available. Order one for your fishing pals, and bring yours to work to piss off your co-workers.

Buy a DSLR: These are outstanding toys/tools. Take your photos to the next level. Digital SLR's are affordable, open your eyes to a whole new world of pics, a plethora of lens options, fabulous filters, and proprietary digital editing software. If you enjoy sitting in the back of the boat, this is your next purchase. I cannot say enough about SLR's, the sky is the limit! Beware of lens envy and buy the best tri-pod you can afford. 

The rule of thumb is take lots of pictures while mixing up your game. This entry is meant to get your brain going while taking fishing photos. Include more than the obvious. Keep the camera out and within reach at all times and you will get the killer shots.  Still take the hero shot, but add the background info, the plot, and even a cliche sunset. I do.

 

Capt. Carp and Sol Pt. 2

I put Capt Carp up tho the ultimate challenge after his bridge hand lining success.The location of this reprehensible event is TOP SECRET, but I will tell you it is in the Florida Keys. 

The fly of choice was really no fly at all. It is indeed Dion's Chicken. Dion's is a chain of convenience stores strung out, a few strange connotations associated with the Keys there, from Tavernier to Key West. It is the type of place where you very well could see Jay and Silent Bob chillin' pounding a couple 40's. 

Carp boy and I select the thigh meat  as maybe the greasiest and most foul, so we assumed the target fish would enjoy the tempting little snack. We had to sort through the Corn Dogs, Ham Coquette's, Egg Rolls, and Jo-Jo-s, finally deciding on the thigh. Who doesn't like a nice thigh anyway. Fishermen eat this shit all the time, so why wouldn't fish?

We slipped in to the preferred parking spot, full renegade mode. I informed Cappy of the game plan. In and out in 10 minutes. He nodded, grab the 2 ft. Sabiki pole rigged with 10# test, 20# transition leader, and 30# bite tippet...and skulk on in.

My role was the chummer, (the skin is the best), the director, and the camera man. I was also chief watch and cheerleader. Carp held the pole and maneuvered into position, crouching at waters edge and focused. He was wearing the appropriate HH Pink Floral Flex Fit, turned backwards gangsta style, and the finest in Simms clandestine pondwear. All accessories you need while exhibiting covert fishing behaviors.

I began to chum the fish in, which is not that difficult because word on the street is they do prefer the chicken although I have fed them Cuban Pork before, and they like it nearly as well.

I got the fish chummed into a froth and Capt. Carp presented the bait. A nice piece of meat, double stitched onto the J hook and waited. Gulp! Fish on. Three explosive jumps as I was fumbling with the camera slathered in grease, and we looked at each other with utter amazement. Wow, it worked. 

If you've never had the good fortune to battle a Tarpon on a fly rod, try using a 2 footer. the pole was about a foot shorter than the fish. I'm not sure if it had enough backbone, but when you have been doing it as long as the Captain, meaning about 2 hours, you become creative. He really did whip that fish. He had bought a new Boga Grip in Jacksonville and was eager to try it out. What better time than right now.We slid the fish to shore, attached the Boga, and photo time. 

Carp boy was like a kid in a candy store, or an adult in a fly shop. What a truly neat experience, and don't have to do it again. Diversification and expanding your fishing avenues is what can really be fun in the world of fishing. 

We escaped and wandered to the nearest Tiki Bar to gloat and laugh about the days events. Bridge fishing with a hand line and landing a Tarpon on a short pole. That's where smiles come from.

This is urban road fishing at it's finest. These tarpon had surfed in during one of the many hurricanes that grace the Keys and are land locked. Tannin stained water, very little garbage around, houses within sight, and pleasant bench surround this less than 1 acre pond. There is not room for a back cast, so the fly rod is not the weapon of choice. I have tried here with a bow and arrow cast, did have an eat, but missed the fish badly in my bewilderment.

CC and I are in Southern Illinois and haulin' ass homeward. 1267.4 mile behind us and getting colder by the mile. We are both looking forward to seeing Craig and preparing for the summer. John and Julie need some time away from the store, or so I think, and I appreciate all they have done this winter. Thanks again, see you soon. 

Lita Ford and the Florida Turnpike

Day one over and all is well. CC and Sol are breakfasting with Carol Kuhnert in Jacksonville, meaning Folger's and Camels. The Navy breakfast, except the military has restrictions on who even they will admit and I'm pretty sure it does not include itinerant and often intermittent work behaviors of guides. The things that stand out from day one on the road are...

1. Lita Ford still rocks! Kiss me Deadly is a hit in my mind. Although I don't know if it is because the tune is catchy or I still have a teenage crush on this Blond Rocker Chick? Before going solo, she was a member of the all girls rock band, The Runaways. You may also remember her singing a duet with Ozzy Osbourne, Close my eyes forever, which is a great slow dance tune you still may hear at mid-west weddings.


2. People in Florida are abysmal drivers. I have always believed that FLA is the cesspool of the eastern seaboard, and yesterdays drivers confirm that fact. The automobile blinker is an indicator to where you would like to move your vehicle. They must not install them on cars from the deep south. Freakin' dangerous driving behaviors. Go back to NJ and learn how to drive.


3. I saw five live and lit cigarette's expelled from the window of inconsiderate and thoughtless drivers. I know they do not install ashtrays in cars anymore, but put it in that empty Coors Lite can for God's sake. I knew there was a use for the Silver Bullet, it is certainly not good for anything else. Note: This is the same individual that walks in front of you, opens the door to a retail joint, and lets the door close directly behind them, and directly in front of you. I despise these folks whose only goal in life is personal. Self Centered Pricks! I really want to slap them, but generally take the high road.


4. AM Radio stations, which I am a fan of, in Florida consist of 3 genre's. Religious, financial, and Latin. None of which I enjoy. There's nothing quite like listening to Spanish speaking, Jewish oriented investment babble. I can drive for hours listening to static driven talk radio, but have to defer to books on tape while in FLA.
5. Ran into your Grandmom-mom Hortense in Vero Beach at the Royal Fork Buffet. She wanted me to pass on this message..."You never call, you never write, and by God will you send the pictures of the grandkids."
6. Travelling on the Florida Turnpike is an interesting trip. It is an insulated highway with very few exits, and the occasional rest stop, but the rest stops have food services and tourist type stuff...knock off perfumes and cologne's, tacky polyester patterned shirts, overpriced bottled water, and of course the longest lines were for the Starbuck's franchise. Could not find a cup of Folger's to save my life.
7. Toll booths that require and additional $1 to continue. These occur about every 2 cigarettes. Found a pattern developing as we drove. The female attendants were not very nice. No eye contact, no smiling, no Thank You's...so no thank you. The male attendants were friendly, chatty, and told us jokes. Q: "What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley rider? A: The vacuum cleaner has the dirtbag on the inside. Had to laugh, it is a variation on the Volvo/Porcupine joke.

Day two ahead of us, Georgia and some other states including Kentucky, Tennessee, and ending at a Motel 6 tonight. I have a weird obsession with Tom Bodet and Motel 6. I don't know the underlying mental deficiencies that fuel this psychosomatic response, but I do know that I cannot stop driving until I see the friendly red, white, and blue sign.

Part 2 of Capt. Carp and Sol Last Keys Adventure coming tomorrow.

Until then, I will be driving the world's best vehicle, speaking with my broker about GM stock, buying cartons of Camel's in Kentucky for $24, and keeping Capt. Carp out of Firework's Warehouses and Gentleman's Clubs.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner...

Time for Scumliner to get a little more involved in the Blog now that Squeeky is on the road and away from his computer. It's a long trip back to Montana from the Keys, but Squeeky has Capt Carp with him to help navigate and keep him awake. I know the Stock Market is struggling right now, but with these two on a 3000 mile road trip, it might be a good week to buy shares of RJ Reynolds Tobacco...

Speaking of the Market, I heard on the news the other day that shares of GM cost less than a gallon of gas! What does the cost of GM shares have to do with this rant you ask? If you know the true identity of Squeeky, you know that he is the (very) proud owner of a Maroon GM built Suburban. These infamous vehicles are the most popular guide rigs in the west, as well as being the most unreliable.

Squeeky loves his Suburban, and is constantly bragging about the quality and comfort of this fine piece of American craftsmanship. As a Toyota Sequoia owner, I (of course) have another view of all this, but Squeeky continues to shove the virtues of the Suburban down my throat. I will admit, he knows his vehicle much better than I. He can tell you the price and labor cost for nearly every part of his vehicle, as well as how often you should expect each part to fail. Squeeky does have an excellent memory, you know.

I suppose I should be a little more receptive to Squeeky's arguments. Lots of our buddies drive them when they're functioning. I guess it's just hard to buy into his arguments while he's writing another 4 digit check to Rod's Automotive. I know Rod loves 'em, but I'm not sure it's for the same reason as Squeeky.

So how does the chicken fit in to all this? Many things can go wrong when two fishing guides are on a 3000 mile road trip in a Suburban. Guides aren't much more reliable than Suburbans, and these two are definitely suspect. They are supposed to arrive in Craig on the 12th. I'm just not sure if it will be the 12th of March or April. I hope it's soon, though. The Blog fans miss you Squeeky, so get home safe and soon. They all want to know what's up with the Chicken tease? (I know, but ain't saying).

Tell you what, if you get the Suburban back to Craig before GM files for bankruptcy, I'll FedEx your next batch of "Dion's Quick Chick Chicken" up from the Keys. Better hurry...

Just a little tease...

Capt Carp here showing the picture tease for the next blog report. Still cold in FLA, and we are heading North on Sunday, back to MT. You may ask yourself, "Is that is Dion's Quik Chik Chicken?"...and it will be used in the next blog episode, coming soooon....

Capt Carp and Sol: Part 1

Captain Carp and I were not going to be put down by one more day of windy cool southern Florida weather. We embarked at the crack of noon on a bridge fishing journey. Talking about the metaphors and virtues of the previous article whilst choking down a couple Camels on the porch last night led us into today's excursion.

We began by finding a Cuban Hand Line at a local fishing store(always shop small destination stores when you find them, and don't buy from the French, just a rule) valued @ $4.79. Pre-rigged with an egg sinker, wire leader, and a J hook. All set there.

Couldn't help purchasing a small 2 ft. long Sabiki pole too. It was adorned with the world's smallest reel and 10# line. The fella at the counter assured us of its quality, mentioning that he had landed a 15# tarpon on a rod like the one I was playing with, $22.50. A 10 piece Mustad bait hooks package, half dozen 1/8 oz. egg sinkers, and 2 dozen live shrimp. Which way are the bridges?

Back on A1A heading west in Sol's Suburban (see blog entry 10 Best Fishing Rides of all time) when Capt Carp spots a likely bridge. The bridges one fishes in the Keys are adjacent to the highway and used by hoards of locals, Cubans, and vacationers alike. I mention Cubans because they are deadly hand liners. We were hoping to bump into one and glean any information and advice he would offer, but when the temperature drops below 70 F, most Floridians stay inside where its warm.

Now we are on the bridge over Niles Channel and it is go time. Carp boy drops his in first and me with the Sabiki pole second. Thee is really nothing better than catching fish with hand and line. Tipped with squirmy and smelly shrimps, our baited hooks did attract lots of fish's. Putting the hook in them is the hardest part. All fish love live bait, yes, even trout. Between the two of us, we did land small Yellowtail Snapper, Blue Runner's, Pinfish, Leather Jacks (if they sting you, your hand swells up like a cantaloupe), and missed a few Barracuda. What fun. Had an absolute ball. Would do it again in a New York minute.

Would I plan a vacation around this activity? No. I would encourage any fishing fanatic to get back to your roots boy. Spend some time doing something totally different. It's like cross training for fly fishing. Being able to observe fish behaviors 17' below you and having tactile reference to the line is something special.

Bridge fishing really is a terrific family activity. You see many families fishing together with a menagerie of poles spanning from the hand line, the bamboo stick, not fly rod, stick, to over priced poles that we scoff at the price of. I know, we are fly fisherman and don't scoff at the price of anything...somewhere we went sideways on this deal! Go out and have some fun! Just don't let junior stray too far from you, dangerous shark infested waters lay below.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Capt. Carp and Sol.

It's all Fishing Man!

We all started somewhere. It may have been last weekend, last year, or 40 years ago. For many of us it was fishing with our family as young children. The fact is that we all started sometime, somewhere. I'm not going to bore you with my first foray into fishing(I'll save that for when I am speechless and need to write a blog, coming too soon for most of you) but rather identify and rationalize the truth. Fishing brings happiness to all of us.

Fly rod in hand and casting at finicky fish is what I love. I also love throwing shrimp tipped jigs for snapper, sea trout, lady fish, or even trying my luck bridge fishing here in the Keys. I still have not dredged my home river with night crawlers under a bobber, with some sort of heavy diamond shaped sinker, yet, but I have been fantasizing about it for at least 10 years. Imagine the Browns that would respond to a wiggling worm in the spring! Hmmm....

The upshot of this writers point is just this...Fishing is for every body, there are many disciplines and methods, it does not have to cost a shitload of money, and I beg all of you not to discount any fisherman with a smile on his/her face.

I see hand liners here in FLA that are having a ball. It is just line around a large diameter spool, a hook, a sinker, and a small piece of something alive or smelly, your choice. I see $1 million+ boats, with 3 mates, electronic laden consoles, two quivers worth of rods, suitcases full of jigs, lures, stuffed bait wells, kites, hooks, extra spools for the reels, etc. Which party is having more fun?

I imagine a similar conversations by both parties...

Bridge Guy "Someday I will have a boat like that. Catch more fish, ladies chillin' in the salon, huge tuna for dinner, playboy lifestyles..."

Big Boat Guy "I wish my life was simpler. Hop out of your car, grab a couple cheap spinning rods, $4 in jigs and a bait bucket. No hassles, no obscenely high gas prices, no lazy mates, no high maintenance women in the salon. Just a few snapper on the grill for dinner."

So, you be the judge. Most of our fly fishing passions are derived from the generic fishing bug we acquired somewhere along the line. We all have different reasons for fishing, but there is a common thread, and that in itself is fishing.

It encourages happiness and joy. It creates an environment of learning and laughing with friends and family. It is riddled with hope, misfortune, learning, entertainment, and relaxation. It is all good. Soulful relation.

Next time you see an angler that is fishing in a manner that you may not enjoy, don't demean or belittle that individual...getting on your high horse does not make your fishing experience better, just be happy for him. He is after the same things you are, and fishing is a vehicle we both can use to attain these lofty, yet achievable goals. The smile on his face is a mirror image of the smile on your face.

Remember this old adage? I have added a couple lines too.

"Days spent fishing are not deducted from the total days we have been allotted on this earth. Fishing days are free. Fishing days are a balance between reality and fantasy. Fishing may be the lowest common denominator in life. Those who fish have more in common than most."

Writing this makes me want to do some hand lining tomorrow. I've never tried it. Using the most basic tools may improve my game. I can tell you it will not hurt. Just one more fishing technique and tool in my box is always a welcome addition. I just might.

It's all Fishing Man!

Definition of a fool

There are many definitions of the word fool. We as humans also do foolish things. We don't ever want to be defined as a fool, because there are certainly negative connotations associated with that term. How many times have you displayed foolish techniques, casts, and plans throughout your fly fishing life? All of us have made mistakes and the key to success is not to do those foolish things again!

"The definition of a fool is someone who exhibits the same behaviors over and over, and expects different outcomes every time." Albert Einstein

I have seen this in my boat too many times. Twice is too many times. I have also fallen into this category, I just don't do it anymore...at least in fishing. I so often see folks cast at a fish with the identical cast that did not work last time. If it did not work, why waste your time and replicate that shitty presentation? If it don't work, change it.

The cast and the drift are the two common failure points, so we work on them first. Fishermen too often believe it is the fly. Fish will eat nearly any fly in the right ballpark, it is usually the drift or the fish has not seen the fly. Trout have great eyesight, but a fly floating two feet away, or even two inches away is generally too far. I like the fly to be within a centimeter. No BS. Then he will see it. Present it properly, drift well, and if the fish does not eat it after several good drifts, then we will change the fly.

Let's reserve the foolish behaviors for the bar and bedroom, and fish smart. Don't be that foolish guy, and remember the Einstien quote. It speaks truth.

7 Levels of Fly Fishing

I have met as many kinds of fishermen as stars in the sky. Lots of varying personalities and skill levels make for pure enjoyment and this pastime would not be as fun if we were clone like and boring. This list has little to do with style preference, meaning dry, nymph, or streamer. If I included those variables this would be painfully long. I like comparing it to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs believing that there are strong parallels between the two. Physiological, psychological and the end result being Self Actualization. Which level are you?

1. Catch a fish, any fish on a fly. Does not matter what size or what method. Any fish on a fly. Love to have these folks in the boat. No expectations, believe every word out of your mouth, and have a great time.


2. Catch lots of fish. Size again not important, just having the rod bent all day is the goal. Nymphing guides dream, until he can't feel his arms anymore from too many row-a-rounds. Soaking the net is really cool.


3. Land a big fish. Monster battle, biggest fish of your fishing career. First big fish, for most it is 20", a respectable fish. Fun for guides too, means the clients will rebook.


4. Catch lots of big fish. Natural progression in your fly fishing evolution. Who doesn't want to catch a boatload of big fish. It is infectious...the Missouri is the place to pull this off as we have a 17" average. 19" average if your fishing the Mo with a Bighorn guide, and using his measuring stick.


5. The Impossible Fish. Hunting, finding, and catching that prick of a brown, who is a 2 footer, plucking spinners 1" from the shore, tucked behind 3 overhanging sticks, upstream, wind from the north...you've seen these fish. Guides love this level. Can kill enough time in the boat to devour both lunches, yours and your clients, and all you have to do is find a few of these fish, sit back and relax. All fish are catchable and it is real exciting to see it executed well.


6. Self Actualization. The finest of all 7 levels. Sit back and enjoy the day. Catch a few fish, chat with your fishing partner (see Blog entry: Choose your fishing partner wisely), nice lunch with a $3 bottle of red, make some casts at the impossible fish, or not. The level 7 guest is an outstanding guest in the boat. They are happy, non competitive, well adjusted and possess good angling skills. It's the fella who actually does practice casting in his backyard. The only fights in the boat are in regards to which fisherman isn't going to fish at that sipper on the shore. They just suck it all in, no rush, self actualization.


7. Worst of all levels. You become a guide. Not recommended for any readers of this blog. I love being a fly fishing guide and most guides are happy individuals. My suggestion is that you enjoy the 6 previous levels, moving amongst them freely, because it is OK and advisable to like fishing. There are dark sides to living the dream, just ask your guide.

Hope you can identify with one or all of the 7 levels of fly fishing. You will definitely know when you have reached level 7, if you look like one of those guys in the picture above...sunburned, tired, glazed, confused eyes, and vacant of all emotion.